snow

go home winter, you’re drunk.

As mentioned in my previous post, I have a deep disgust for snow. Sunday night however, the universe decided it would only be appropriate if on the anniversary of my first year in Chicago, I would slip on a big pile of ice and fall down the stairs.

Let me break this down for you, black ice is a sneaky mother f-er. It’s as if Satan just Alex Mack’d himself and turned into an invisible pile of hardened water so that he could have a front-row seat at your painful and humiliating death. It’s THE WORST.

Since moving here, I’ve witnessed a number of people slip and fall on ice and I’ve always dreaded being one of them. I may have laughed uncontrollably at them when it happened, but that was only a natural instinct, I truly felt bad for them. For this reason, I always take tiny steps when near snow or ice or puddles or whatever. I may look like a total freak, but it beats falling on your ass. This, I now know first hand.

The other night, as I was getting home from my weekend job (a topic for another day), I saw my life flash before my eyes as I slipped and fell down these demon stairs:

I slipped on ice at the top right after I pushed open the gate & fell all the way down onto that even bigger pile of ice at the bottom 😦

I’m now literally afraid to go in or out through the back of my apartment until winter is over and done with. I’m completely traumatized. The back of my apartment is a freaking ice rink & I am NOT a fan of skating. Check it out for yourself:

For an entire week it hurt to walk, sit, get up, you name it. If it wasn’t for all the down feathers in my puffer coat, the pain would be much worse, but it was scary nonetheless. There was no one around that late at night and I just pictured my frozen, lifeless body being found the next morning. Super tragic.

What I really need is for that stupid groundhog to get out of his cave & make this winter disappear. The sun needs to shine the shit out over Chicago and melt all this dumb snow so that we can all get on with our lives and frolic the streets sans coats and have endless drinks on sidewalk patios and wear skirts and shorts and tank tops and sandals like normal human beings! Enough with this winter nonsense already! It’s freaking March people! I can’t take it anymore!

Rant over. Thank you for letting me vent.

xo

one year later..

Although it’s all still a little unreal, today is my one-year anniversary of living in Chicago!

Exactly 365 days ago I flew into a city wrapped in a blanket of snow on a weekend where the snow came down for days, and I never looked back –that’s a lie. I look back all the time, but I truly am happy I risked it all to move here. NO RAGRETS.

Anyway, as I look back at the year that has come and gone, I can’t help but reflect on my time here and think of all the new things I’ve learned –and not learned. So I’ve decided that I would share my observations with you because, Suzie Says.

1- As nice as Midwesterners are, (they are VERY nice) when it comes to the L, there is no such thing as personal space. The train is a special place where you spoon strangers in the early morning hours on your way to work, stare uncomfortably at the person standing less than inch away from your face, and accidentally touch things you had no intention of touching –you know, hands, butts, thighs, you get the picture.

2- While in Miami shots of tequila are customary, in Chicago whiskey is the poison of choice –and if you’re really unlucky, it’ll be Malort. gag*

3- I will never, not laugh whenever someone slips on black ice. It’s a natural reaction to what I’ve just been lucky enough to witness and I will not apologize for it. I will ask if you’re okay though –as I continue to laugh uncontrollably.

4- With so many incredible places to eat in the city, it truly amazes me that people still go to McDonald’s. I live across the street from a McDonald’s and I think I’ve maybe stopped in twice out of pure desperation.

5- I’ve learned that girls here rarely ever have their nails done & that’s cool, but I will never abandon my mani/pedi ways. I just can’t.

6- Working 7 days a week is probably the worst idea I’ve ever had, but having zero debt is a great feeling.

7- Winter is what you make of it. You can sit around and complain about how terrible it is, or you can appreciate the little things –like a 25-degree day instead of a 5-degree day. It’s the little things guys. Embrace it, or just join me in my chant: Summer is right around the corner. Summer is right around the corner. Summer is right around the corner.

8- Although I try my best to follow #6, snow is still Satan’s vomit and I will always hate it. But what’s worse than falling snow? Mushy snow, slippery snow, puddles of snow, snow that hardens and turns into pure ice. I can really go on and on. Snow is evil.

9- Patio season is the best season.

10- I’ve learned that getting your groceries delivered beats having to go to the grocery store ANY DAY. Peapod is my best friend and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

11- Dating apps can actually be entertaining and also creepy and overwhelming, but you can meet decent people on there. However, I no longer recommend it to my Miami friends. I’m sorry I ever did, hah!

12- Living alone can be a bit scary, extremely quiet, and sometimes boring, but there’s nothing boring about dancing alone in your underwear to Milky Chance and I am beyond grateful for every chance I get to do that –even though I cry a little on every first of the month.

13- Making friends in unfamiliar cities isn’t easy. You have to put in lots of effort, but it beats not having a social life. I appreciate all the friends I’ve made since moving here.

14- Also, although it’s taken me about a year to accept, I’ve learned that you can’t hate someone for not being on the same page as you. Timing is everything, and it can also be a bitch. Sometimes people need to fully experience life before they’re able to reach a certain point so that they won’t resent you later. When that happens, you just need to walk away and let it be.

xo

it’s the little things.

Lately a lot of people have asked me what I miss most about Miami & my answer always consists of mainly, “the weather, duh.” But each time I’m asked, it makes me really think about what I genuinely miss. I’ve never been the type to feel homesick so it’s hard for me to come up with a serious answer, but recently it finally hit me -like a ton of bricks while driving through the snow on I-90.

For two weeks I drove to work because quite honestly, I missed traffic. I miss sitting in traffic, yelling at people in Spanish to get out of my way. I miss using my hands to yell, “GOOO GUYYY” & “SERIOUSLY BRO?!” and other offensive things I won’t spell out here in case my parents read this. But I do. I miss driving around in my car listening to ghetto ass music on 103.5 in the morning, cause that was my shit and that’s how I liked to start my day.

I miss Publix because no matter what anyone tells you, no other grocery store in the world could ever compare –ever.

I miss having the option to buy churros or water from the viejitos on the street because now that I can’t, I want these things all the time.

I miss not thinking about what I was going to wear each day cause the temperature would never reach below 75 degrees. I miss not even knowing where my weather app was on my phone because I had no use for it. Today, I check it more than I check Facebook and it always makes me angry when I do. Every. Damn. Time.

I miss seeing my legs, because now I can only wear pants.

I miss that feeling of the sun burning my skin through my car window while driving. 

I miss seeing a box full of croquetas on Sunday mornings and having pan con bistec for dinner. It makes me sad not knowing when I will ever taste either one of those things again. 

I miss the unlimited amounts of Vita Coco I could drink while working at SpinHouse, cause now I never want to actually pay for it.

I miss lounging at the Shore Club with a drink in my hand and being able to float around with tourists who would come vacation in my backyard.

I miss never having to worry about parking, because not having a secured spot in your neighborhood causes an immense amount of anxiety.

I miss going to Flanny’s (in Hialeah, obvi) at whatever time of the day or night for the most delicious chicken philly on the planet and the cheapest drinks after 9 p.m.

I miss the feeling of a warm breeze on my skin and the sweet, salty smell of the ocean. I never thought I could live somewhere that didn’t have these things but here I am, buying mango scented candles so that my tropical ass can feel some sort of normalcy –but I doesn’t work.

Recently, I was flipping through the radio stations on my way home I landed on a station that was playing my favorite salsa song EVER! It almost made me cry of happiness like Pharrell during his interview with Oprah. I just wanted to jump out of my car and bust into a rueda with myself in the middle of the snow.

So for everyone wondering, those are the things that I miss.

xo

Image

i woke up like this.

It’s only appropriate that on my first day of living in Chicago it snowed ALL. DAY.

Legit from the moment I pulled out of the airport until after I bar hopped my little ass around Lakeview at 2 a.m., it snowed. IT SNOWED SO MUCH!

My day started with non-other than an Ikea excursion with my partner in crime, Will. Here I participated in what I would like to call a little game of Supermarket Sweep where I just threw all kinds of shit in my cart without a worry in the world. I don’t know who I think I am. Really. Like, did I think I could afford all of that unnecessary shit? NOT.

So after hours of shopping (and putting lots of things back), it was time to find all of these magnificent pieces of Swedish furniture in the giant warehouse and put it onto our cart – all five of them. WE ENDED UP NEEDING FIVE CARTS. Close your eyes and picture me (and all of my super power strength) along with my friend, lugging around five Ikea flat-bed carts stacked with shit. People just watched & laughed in utter amazement of our strength (obvi) as we struggled with hundreds of pounds of boxes across the massive store.

In the end, I had to find out that all of my glorious furniture won’t be delivered for days so I’ve been sleeping on the floor in the middle of place, crack house style. Like, I seriously had a bowl of cereal on the toilet this morning cause I have no effing chairs & it’s basically the warmest spot in my entire place.

Anyway, last night after an awesome dinner at Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba and a few vodkas, I couldn’t figure out why the space heater in my “bedroom” wasn’t actually HEATING in the middle of the night so I threw on gloves, a scarf and my J.LO jacket (in addition to my sweatpants, sweater and socks) and went back to sleep -half frozen still.

In the words of Beyonce, I woke up like this…

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