I’ve never had much luck finding treasures in the trash, but the other night as I was getting home I found what looked to be a bar cart in perfect condition! I couldn’t believe it so I immediately hauled it upstairs and got to cleaning. I did some major disinfecting with some Clorox -because people are gross. Now, this baby looks brand spanking new! Read More
As mentioned in my previous post, I have a deep disgust for snow. Sunday night, however, the universe decided it would only be appropriate if, on the anniversary of my first year in Chicago, I would slip on a big pile of ice and fall down the stairs. Read More
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but for the most part, things have been running smoothly. Today, however, that lovely streak came to an end. Summer is long gone, Fall came and went in the blink of an eye, and as far as I’m concerned we are in the middle of a Polar Vortex in mid-November. Read More
If I didn’t know what FOMO meant, this week I’ve learned the meaning. While I continue to freeze my ass off and wear more layers than humanly possible, my hometown peeps are frolicking around South Beach like a bunch of wild animals enjoying every #MMW & #WMC event possible. Can I even hashtag on here? IDGAF. Vogue just hashtagged on their cover.
But enough about Miami and all of its current gloriousness. Today was rough in the CHI.
For starters, I fell on my way to the bathroom this morning. FELL ON MY FACE. I fell because I tripped over a BOOT. A problem I have never had to encounter because wtf wears boots?! Not me, until now. It’s all I effing wear. Every. Damn. Day. BOOTS.
Irregardless, I decided to walk out of my apartment with an open mind because today is Thursday and that means it’s practically Friday, which means FREEDOM. Except what I experienced shortly after going under ground was not freedom. Moments after entering my train stop I became trapped in the freaking spinning thing that lets me into the train terminal. How is this possible you ask? I have no idea, but it happened. IT HAPPENED TO ME. I was trapped in this tiny jail for about 60 seconds until someone else came up behind me and had to set me free. Que pena.
Then the work day passed and it was time for happy hour, which is my favorite hour for obvious reasons. Drink, drank, drunk, now it’s time to go home.
The only problem is, the moment you switch up my routine (and add alcohol) in a new city I GET LOST. All my life I’ve heard the dangers of drinking and driving. What they failed to teach me was the dangers of drinking and getting on the train…because it’s confusing as SHIT. Leave it to me to get on the wrong train and freak out with a nearly dying phone.
It’s only appropriate that on my first day of living in Chicago it snowed ALL. DAY.
Legit from the moment I pulled out of the airport until after I bar hopped my little ass around Lakeview at 2 a.m., it snowed. IT SNOWED SO MUCH!
My day started with non-other than an Ikea excursion with my partner in crime, Will. Here I participated in what I would like to call a little game of Supermarket Sweep where I just threw all kinds of shit in my cart without a worry in the world. I don’t know who I think I am. Really. Like, did I think I could afford all of that unnecessary shit? NOT.
So after hours of shopping (and putting lots of things back), it was time to find all of these magnificent pieces of Swedish furniture in the giant warehouse and put it onto our cart – all five of them. WE ENDED UP NEEDING FIVE CARTS. Close your eyes and picture me (and all of my super power strength) along with my friend, lugging around five Ikea flat-bed carts stacked with shit. People just watched & laughed in utter amazement of our strength (obvi) as we struggled with hundreds of pounds of boxes across the massive store.
In the end, I had to find out that all of my glorious furniture won’t be delivered for days so I’ve been sleeping on the floor in the middle of place, crack house style. Like, I seriously had a bowl of cereal on the toilet this morning cause I have no effing chairs & it’s basically the warmest spot in my entire place.
Anyway, last night after an awesome dinner at Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba and a few vodkas, I couldn’t figure out why the space heater in my “bedroom” wasn’t actually HEATING in the middle of the night so I threw on gloves, a scarf and my J.LO jacket (in addition to my sweatpants, sweater and socks) and went back to sleep -half frozen still.
In the words of Beyonce, I woke up like this…